Wild Packs of Angry Pigs

After a late-night dinner with my husband, we were pulling onto our road when he asked me if he could stock-pile some guns. The pacifist in me wants nothing to do with things that shoot projectiles and cause bodily harm to human or animal. Curious, I asked why he felt that he needed to build an arsenal when we don't have any need to have one. His reply: 'So when the wild-pig armies invade our area we can defend ourselves.'

I had no words. ME, with no words. I don't think I even breathed for a few seconds. After coming-to I asked if his sugar was low ( 1. because he was driving and 2. because he was driving) and he happily replied yup. So I asked him why he felt that we were about to be invaded by wild packs of angry pigs. His response . . . 'because they're coming.' Right.

He says all over PA there are nests of pig armies that were brought to the States from the Spanish Conquistadors and they've finally made their way to PA. I'm stumped AGAIN. Twice in one night. And not only is he NOT bullshitting me, and I know when he does, he gets this twinkle in his eyes and the corners of his mouth curl up; but he is serious. Like heart-attack serious. I don't know where he heard this. Actually, I don't know where he hears half the things he tells me. I can only imagine what he was like as a child, which scares me to death to think of what OUR children will be like.

Hopefully I can get some information out of him in the coming days about what this pigvasion is all about. All I know is I've got a stockpile of weapons to prevent. =)