Crazier

To give an apartment complex a sense of community, it's often the role of the leasing staff and property manager to schedule and plan events that will bring the residents together. I've done events from cookie exchanges around the holidays, pot-luck BBQs in the summer, pizza night, movie night at the pool and monthly breakfasts. It allows residents who might not meet otherwise to get to know each other. Plus, who doesn't like free food? In fact, one resident liked free food so much he earned himself a nickname among staff.

Tater Salad
Most of the picnics, BBQs and Pot-Lucks that I hosted over the summers had a basic menu with variations based on what looked interesting at the store. However, I always had potato salad. The area the apartment community was located in was primarily Pennsylvania Dutch. The PA Dutch eat potato salad with everything. To prepare, I would always go to the local Bulk Foods store and get 2 1-gallon containers of Potato Salad.

Tater Salad always showed up to events at least 15 minutes before they started. Which meant that he would plop himself down right in the middle of things while we were trying to set up. As soon as the potato salad hit the table he would ask if he could start eating. Before any other resident arrived, Tater Salad would have had at least two plates filled with potato salad. I'm not talking about small party plates either. He'd wolf down at least a half-gallon before anyone else had the chance to arrive.

Not only was tater salad the first to arrive but he was the last to leave. He commandeered every conversation at the parties. He was loud, borderline obnoxious and pretty much clueless to those around him. As we would clean up at the end of the party, Tater Salad made sure to stick around long enough to beg for the leftovers. So, any cooked and uneaten burgers and hotdogs went home with him. As did any food that would spoil between the end of the party and the weekend. He always made out like a bandit so much so that other residents were left with little to take home with them.

Tater Salad wasn't just obsessed with Potato Salad. Any food that we had he wanted his share and then some. Here are some classics:

Discount Pizza Night: For resident appreciation week, I negotiated a discounted price for large pizzas for the residents of the community with a local chain pizza company. So rather than $8 per large cheese pizza, I got them for $5 and charged the residents $2. Residents had to call in their reservation and pay the day before the delivery. (It was quite impressive to have 50+ pizzas sitting in my office waiting for delivery) We, the staff, personally delivered the pizzas. You can't beat $4 for 2 large pizzas! Tater Salad, wanting as much as he could get ordered 4. Thinking he was having guests over, I didn't make a big deal about it. However, when I delivered his pizzas it was just him. He proudly told me that this was his breakfast, lunch and dinner for the next month.

Breakfast to Go Another resident appreciation event, the office staff put together brown-bag breakfasts with pastries, granola bars, fruit and juice. We gave notice to the residents that we would be at the entrance to the communities between 6am and 8am passing out breakfast as they leave for work. The idea was that we would catch them as they were in their cars leaving for work. With 5 minutes to go, we were packing up the breakfasts that weren't delivered. Through the morning fog we see someone walking. As the figure gets closer and closer, we see that it's Tater Salad. He knows that time is up and that there will be extras. I prepare his breakfast and as I pass it to him he asks 'Is that all?'

A little stunned, I say that there is quite a bit in the bag. He says, 'no, where's my leftovers? You've got to have extras.' I tell him, yes there are some extras but I planned on keeping some in the office for those leaving for work a little bit later than we would be out at the entrance. He asks me how long I was keeping them after that. I say 11:00, then we'll see what's left.

Sure enough, at 11:00 on the dot, in walks Tater Salad holding a canvas bag open waiting for his goodies.

Tater Salad also showed up in the office at least once a day to browse the snacks and beverages I had sitting out for prospects. Every day he'd come in and announce 'I'm here to do my daily shopping'. One of the maintenance staff asked him one day, why it was that he always insisted on taking home leftovers and more than others normally took (often times he decimated entire foods so that others didn't have any or only had very little.) His response was that if we didn't want him to eat it, we shouldn't offer it. When asked why he didn't share with others he said that he didn't like anyone else enough to share.

So as it turns out, we were not only his grocery store but his personal caterers and everyone else was just there for his entertainment purposes. That attitude was not shocking, especially after an incident where his rent check bounced. He stormed into the office and screamed at me because his check bounced telling me that it was the responsibility of the company to make sure that the check didn't bounce. He demanded to speak to someone over my head and that he'd have me fired. Not only that but I was taking advantage of a poor old man.

Puh-lease. Not only did I have proof in his lease that it was the residents responsibility to pay rent and assure that all funds were accessible (in other words common sense); but I also told him that if he didn't have the money to pay rent, he shouldn't write me a bad check. Because not only would it result in the start of the eviction process but that he could be reported to the police. He stormed out of the office saying he was going to sue and have my job. The next morning I found a money order for his rental payment and fees in the lock box.

I'm not sure what happened to Tater Salad after I left that position. If I recall correctly, he bounced yet another check and pulled the same antics. A week later the eviction process was started. So, whoever out there has the pleasure of calling Tater Salad a resident, do I feel sorry for you!


**on a side note, if I had a penny for every time a resident has threatened to
call my boss, have my job, sue me or question whether or not I have a soul (true story, by the way) I'd be a very rich person! It's amazing who the blame gets passed to when a resident is at fault for something. this itself is worthy of it's own post.