Big Step

I did it. I wrote my dad a letter. I don't think it made sense but I said everything I needed to say. I tried to write this letter so many times before in my head. I knew exactly what I was going to say. But when it came time to put pen to paper I couldn't exactly be accurate about how I was feeling.

It was like I was 16 years old again and I just rambled in these tangents. I repeated myself a lot. But I did it. It's done and it's going in the mail tomorrow morning. Regardless of what happens, I'll know that I said what I had to. I put into words what I felt and am feeling. It was all the words I could never say in person.

So it's up to him. I told him I wanted an honest relationship going forward and I wanted to get to know him, and more than superficially. I don't want my dad to be a stranger any more. We can't change the past and we can't make it go away. All we have is now. I just hope that we can go forward and be honest with each other.